Name: Not the Perfect Victim
Author: Anna Kahill

Not the Perfect Victim

A Memoir of Surviving Sexual Violence, a Late Autism Diagnosis, and the Fight for Justice

“I didn’t know the moment my voice was stolen.

But I remember the first time I tried to scream and nothing came out.”

First published in 2025

“The ‘perfect victim’ is a standard set before a jury ever hears the case.
I wasn’t deemed to meet it. My case never reached a jury.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“A beautifully written account of survival and justice — powerful, brave, and impossible to forget.”

— Louise

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Unflinchingly honest and essential; a testament to the courage of survivors silenced by a failing system.”

— Natasha

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“A raw and compassionate memoir showing how trauma’s aftermath shapes every part of life — and how healing begins.”

— Lupita

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Absolutely awestruck by Anna’s honesty and strength. A must-read for trauma survivors and allies alike.”

— Lisa

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Harrowing yet empowering — a real, trauma-informed story of a survivor reclaiming her voice.”

— Paula

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“A gripping, heartfelt memoir that blends pain, wit, and resilience — once you start, you can’t put it down.”

— Strahan

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Raw, tough, and deeply human. You feel Anna’s loss and her strength in every line.”

— Donna

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Every survivor or ally should read this — a true, compassionate portrayal of the slow, possible path to healing.”

— Helen

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Utterly compelling from start to finish. Should be required reading for survivors, therapists, and lawmakers.”

— Shannon

Above reviews come from goodreads

Available in paperback and eBook, through major retailers and Irish libraries.
Audiobook is currently
in production (April 2026) and will be made available ASAP!

Read the story that never reached court.

Based on lived experience within the Northern Ireland Criminal Justice System.

Order your copy

Discover more

Featured in The Irish News, Local Women Magazine, Armagh I, Books Ireland, Women Writers, Women’s Books, Writing.ie, and The Belfast Telegraph.

About the book

About Anna

Media & Recognition

Key Themes

Availability

Now in Irish Libraries

Available to order in all bookstores

If your local bookshop doesn’t currently have Not the Perfect Victim in stock, they can order it in for you —
just give them this ISBN: 9781068290312

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📖 ABOUT THE BOOK

He stole my voice. This is what it took to get it back.Based on lived experience, beginning in 2006.A fierce, honest memoir of trauma, autism, and finding the strength to speak.At nineteen, one night changed everything for Anna Kahill. A violent trauma shattered her sense of safety and left her carrying the truth alone for more than a decade. Grief, motherhood, and a late diagnosis of autism and PTSD finally forced the memories she had buried to the surface.Not the Perfect Victim is Anna’s unflinching account of survival and the fight for justice inside a system that legal professionals, advocacy groups, and survivors often describe as notoriously difficult to navigate in sexual violence cases. With clarity and courage, she exposes the impossible expectations placed on traumatised and neurodivergent women — and the silence demanded of anyone who doesn’t fit the “perfect victim” mould.Raw, compassionate, and deeply human, this memoir speaks to anyone who has questioned their memory, their worth, or their right to be heard.For readers of:
Know My Name — Chanel Miller
What My Bones Know — Stephanie Foo
The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der KolkA memoir that refuses silence and shows what it really takes to reclaim your life.

Not The Perfect Victim is a raw, poetic, and unflinching memoir about surviving sexual violence, navigating a late autism diagnosis, and seeking justice in a system designed to fail victims.Through fragments of memory, therapeutic insight, and powerful storytelling, Anna Kahill exposes the emotional, legal, and societal cost of surviving — while challenging the myth of the “perfect victim.”

This is not just a memoir.
It is a reclamation — and a confrontation with silence, shame, and the systems that uphold them.

If you want to help change the conversation or include Not the Perfect Victim in your book club, Anna is open to media requests, interviews and providing a readers guide.
[email protected]NoticeDeep trauma requires intensive healing, and I’ve needed to take time off my occupation to focus on recovery.
Speaking out has been an important part of that process — but sharing my story can also take its toll if not handled carefully.For this reason, I’m currently limiting interviews and public appearances, and I approach each request with care and intention.Thank you for your understanding and continued support.

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Press, Reviews & Invitations

Anna Kahill’s story has been featured across
The Irish News, The Belfast Telegraph, Local Women Magazine, The Newry Democrat, Armagh I, and Writing.ie.Together these pieces trace her journey from survivor to author and advocate, exploring trauma, neurodiversity, and justice reform.Through her memoir Not the Perfect Victim, she continues to challenge silence and reshape how society understands survivors.

Readers around the world have shared their reflections on Not the Perfect Victim across Goodreads and Amazon, praising its honesty, emotional depth, and courage.Read Goodreads reviews →
Read Amazon reviews →

Published Features
Armagh I – Interview feature, July 2025
Women Writers, Women’s Books – Book extract, Aug 2025 Writing.ie – Author essay, Sept 2025
Belfast Telegraph – Contributed essay, Sept 2025
Geraldine Walsh – Publishing Not the Perfect Victim, Sept 2025
Books Ireland – Book Extract, Nov 2025
Local Women Magazine – Interview feature, Nov 2025
Newry Democrat – Interview feature, Nov 2025
The Irish News - Interview feature, Jan 2026

Action Trauma Conference Invitation
In September 2025, Anna Kahill was invited as a VIP delegate and attended the Action Trauma Conference on Neurodiversity in Belfast, where her writings and experience in neurodivergence and criminal justice system drew interest from professionals across fields.

Stormont Invitation
In April 2026, Anna Kahill was invited to Stormont for the launch of the inaugural Annual Report by Ema Cubitt, Northern Ireland’s first Independent Autism Reviewer.
The report highlighted delay, distress, fragmented services and the repeated failure of systems to listen to autistic people and their families.
For Anna, whose memoir Not the Perfect Victim explores trauma, late-diagnosed autism, institutional failure and the fight to be heard, the event carried deep personal and professional significance.

Media & Event Enquiries

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WHO THIS STORY SPEAKS TO - AND WHAT IT CONFRONTS

🎯 WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?
- Survivors of sexual violence
- Late-diagnosed autistic and neurodivergent adults
- Therapists, psychologists, and trauma-informed professionals
- Journalists, lawyers, and justice reform advocates
- Readers questioning their own unprocessed trauma
- Those whose stories were never seen or heard💬 KEY THEMES
- Living with complex PTSD
- Trauma, neurodivergence, and the justice system
- The myth of the “perfect victim”
- When cases do not reach court
- What happens inside the therapy room
- Processing trauma through therapy
- The invisibility of autistic women in trauma narratives
- Systemic failure within the legal system
- Motherhood, grief, and recovery
- Reclaiming narrative from shame and silence
- The impact of trauma on mind and body
- Intergenerational trauma
- Growing up in Northern Ireland in the 80s and 90s
- Social, political, and religious divides

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Photo © Colm Lenaghan / The Irish News

ABOUT ANNA KAHILL

Anna Kahill is the pen name of an Irish survivor, mother, wife, former pharmacist, and first-time author of Not the Perfect Victim: A Memoir of Surviving Sexual Violence, a Late Autism Diagnosis, and the Fight for Justice.First published in 2025, the memoir was never originally intended to become a book. Written gradually over several years in between counselling and psychotherapy sessions, it emerged almost accidentally as Anna tried to make sense of trauma, memory, identity, and the long psychological aftermath of survival.After reporting a serious sexual assault in 2023, many years after it occurred, Anna found herself confronting not only the difficult reality faced by the vast majority of survivors whose cases never reach court, but also the ways trauma itself can shape communication, memory, behaviour, and credibility. In her own case, the test for prosecution was ultimately not met in part because of concerns around how a defence might interpret and challenge trauma responses, alongside communication patterns later understood within the context of neurodivergence. Her case did not go to court. She was not the “perfect victim.”Following the report, Anna later received a diagnosis of autism, alongside an earlier PTSD diagnosis, which profoundly reframed her understanding of her own responses — including masking, delayed processing, silence, fawning, fragmented memory, and the difficulty articulating trauma in ways institutions and society often instinctively recognise as “credible.” Her writing explores how trauma responses alone can already affect perceptions of credibility for many survivors, while also bringing attention to the additional complexity that neurodivergence can introduce in how trauma is experienced, processed, communicated, and misunderstood.By that stage, her case was already far advanced within the justice process, and although the PSNI were informed of these diagnoses, no opportunity was ultimately provided to revisit or clarify her original statement in light of this new understanding.Her advocacy challenges harmful myths surrounding victimhood and brings visibility to the often-unspoken reality of survivors whose stories never receive public attention, collective witnessing, or reach trial at all. Through her own story, Anna advocates for survivors whose experiences fall outside society’s narrow expectations of how a “real” or “credible” victim should behave — whether neurodivergent or not.Drawing on her lived experience of therapy, her writing offers insight into both the reality of the therapy room and the long psychological aftermath of trauma, particularly where trauma responses themselves can become barriers to justice.Alongside the memoir, Anna has publicly supported other survivors across Ireland and Globally, including both high-profile public cases, while through her own story giving voice to the far more common — yet rarely publicly spoken about — reality of survivors whose cases never reach court.Not the Perfect Victim has received strong early reader response on Goodreads, described as both unflinching and deeply humane.Anna lives in the North of Ireland with her husband and son.You can find Anna on Instagram @nottheperfectvictim.

Author Profiles

Good Reads

Amazon

Draft2Digital

Contact Anna
[email protected]

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🌍 AVAILABILITY

Not the Perfect Victim is travelling far and wide — a story crossing borders, just as its themes do.Registered with IngramSpark for paperback distribution, it can be ordered in-store through most major book retailers worldwide.
The eBook edition is available across multiple digital platforms, and the audiobook is distributed globally via Voices.You can find it online via Amazon (paperback and eBook editions available internationally — including UK, USA, Canada and Australia), as well as through Waterstones, Alan Hanna’s Bookshop, and other major retailers.Closer to the author’s home, it is proudly stocked by Elk Books in Warrenpoint and The Bookshelf in Newry, Northern Ireland.ISBN InformationKDP paperback: 978-1-0682903-0-5
IngramSpark paperback: 978-1-0682903-1-2
Draft2Digital eBook: 978-1-0682903-2-9
KDP eBook (Amazon Kindle): 978-1-0682903-3-6
Audiobook (in.audio): 978-1-0682903-4-3If your local bookshop doesn’t currently have Not the Perfect Victim in stock, they can order it for you — simply provide the IngramSpark paperback ISBN: 9781068290312.Wherever you are, this story can find its way to you.

Paperback

eBook

Audiobook

Paperback

Now in Irish Libraries

AvailabilityThis list is not exhaustive. Not the Perfect Victim by Anna Kahill is widely distributed and available globally across major retailers, libraries, and independent bookstores.If your preferred supplier is not listed, you can find additional options by searching online, visiting your local bookstore or library, or requesting a copy directly. The book is distributed via IngramSpark, meaning most booksellers and libraries can easily order it.

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eBook

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Audiobook

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Media & Event Enquiries

Since the publication of Not the Perfect Victim in September 2025, there has been a significant increase in media, event and collaboration enquiries, both on the island of Ireland and internationally.Anna Kahill is open to interviews, media features and conversations that align with the themes of her writing — including trauma, neurodivergence, justice, addressing the myth of the “perfect victim”, and challenging the stigma that surrounds it.Given the nature of this lived experience, all requests are considered carefully and on a case-by-case basis.Anna does not participate in author-funded or pay-to-feature opportunities. Her position is that survivors, and those advocating for them, should not be required to pay to be heard or to enter the conversation on issues of trauma and justice.This writing centres on voice, justice and systemic response. It confronts the expectations placed on survivors and questions how credibility is judged, particularly where neurodivergence is involved.Anna Kahill is a survivor — a victim — and, in turn, an independent author and advocate. All associated platforms have been developed independently, as part of a long-term healing process, with personal investment of time, energy and resources.Sharing her lived experience publicly — through writing, publication and conversation — is a meaningful part of that process, but it also requires balance. Intensive trauma requires intensive healing, and ongoing recovery remains a priority.For this reason, engagement with this writing should reflect an understanding of that context and be approached with respect and care. Interviews and appearances are limited and approached with intention.Thank you for your understanding.Media enquiries:
[email protected]